Ok... so it all started this morning... when I went to bed. All night I kept having dreams about children all over the world. It was so strange that I would have a dream about children at all, but these weren't good dreams by any means. You see the children that I was coming across in my dreams were all near death. They were all too young to help themselves and they all needed me to come to their rescue. I kept waking up thinking of those children, but the one that stuck out the most was the last one. I was walking down this long dusty path in the middle of nowhere and I saw a trash pile... it was in a stange place... kind of out of the way of anything. As I was walking past the pile I heard one of the trash cans kind of cling. When I looked at the trash can I saw a little boy. He was not old enough to walk, but could crawl (if he weren't trapped in a trash can). Then I looked over and saw another little boy that was not even past the infant stage. He was wrapped in a baby blanket and just left... for dead. I woke up crying. I can't believe the audacity of people. I began to wonder what would drive someone to do something so vile to these innocent children. The truth is this kind of thing happens all over the world every day. Then it hit me... the only thing that could cause someone to do something this horrible is hopelessness. It made me think about what I'm doing with my life right now. I love missions and I so badly want to finish my education so that I can get to the mission field. The world is throwing away everything including the future and it is all because they have no hope. I can share with them... I know the King of Hope.
You see lately I have kind of gotten caught up in the lagistics and the business of things and I have begun to let my relationship with God suffer because of it. You know what I'm talking about when I say that life gets busy maybe it is finals or presentations. Who knows? But God has called us to put all the business second to him. Well after my little revalation with the dream I went to church. It was simply amazing to feel the pressence of God move in such an awesome way. I was really felling that God was calling me to surrender to him and make a public statement of that. When the altar call came Pastor started talking about how if we really want to be used of God then we should tell him and let him know. That was my cue. I went to the altar and God just began to show me things in my life.
For all these years I have just kind of lived my life to myself and not let anybody know about anything. God has brought me out of so much in my life, but I have just kept it personal. I realized this morning that my testimony (if used in full) could impact so many lives. I have to learn to be so comfortable with my past (successes and failures) that I can share them with people that are hurting. I have to be vulnerable... I have to be see through... Ihave to be that glass house so that people can see that I'm the real deal and that I truly do care about them. It is time to quit playing the line game... It is time for me to quit being lukewarm and stagnant like it talks about in Revalation 3:16. It is time for me to take that passion and run with it and not back down. It is time for me to do my part in changing the world for God's glory.
Well I love you guys and I pray that you guys find your passions too.
- James
Psalm 46:10
